I’m not, but since having kids my husband has mostly worked away. So I’ve been solo with 70 % of the time. But also, when he is home I’m still doing the majority or childcare and helping him with so much too, it becomes easier for me when he is away.
Feeling this today. I’m in week 3 of no childcare with my toddler, I thought I would implode if I didn’t get some alone time to ground and regulate my nervous system. But I had no choice so my body just figured out how to integrate motherhood even deeper, and I’m feeling more grounded than ever. It does feel like motherhood requires these hard trials to force you to grow into yourself. Why? Lol
It’s such a depth journey. That said, I’m sincerely hoping that you’ve gotten some outer (as well as inner) reprieve after these weeks! Solo toddler parenting is no joke.
Reading that you feel less pain, more grounded, more regulated, within parenthood really cracked my brain open to a possibility I had never considered. Had only feared more anxiety, more pain, less regulation. Wow. Thank you for sharing, love your newsletters.
I think it’s like any initiation. It takes you deeper. Sometimes that can be incredibly hard…but it can also be incredibly liberating. 🤍 Thank you for being here.
Totally relate to this, particularly the sensitive nervous system, I feel like with each of my babies I’ve had to adjust and anchor myself even more to be able to hold both my own sensitive NS and theirs too. It’s been one of my biggest surprises and gifts in motherhood. And I often feel surprised when I’m stripped of the space I had planned due to childcare falling through or illness… somehow I always manage to figure it out and get what needs to be done complete. It forces me to work so much more efficiently because I know I’m on limited time. Beautiful piece Asia xxx
Oh yes to so much here, the needing to pivot and be flexible when things change and are out of our control. And yes to the figuring things out, I would say mothering has realigned me to my inner self rather than external forces, there is such a strong feeling about certain things that I have no choice but to listen to a voice from deep within xx
Thank you, Asia. I feel supported, known, and held in your words. May they also continue to support you. Parenting is indeed simultaneously the most rewarding and most exhausting thing imaginable.
I’m in your Sensitive Series class and I finally feel seen. Thank you for putting me into words.
Although not in my traditional mothering years, I can relate to this AND it’s a huge part of why I left a little spot of paradise to move closer to my kids and grandkids. I identify as a mother at the core of my being. I once tried to tell my youngest daughter that I felt that I achieved what I came here to do (raise her and her siblings to kind and caring and competent adults) and that if I left this earth unexpectedly I wanted her to know I felt fulfilled and…she shushed me and blurted out “I STILL NEED MOTHERING, YOU KNOW!!!”
This same daughter just sent me a thank you note yesterday telling me that she had no idea how hard it would be managing life with kids and told me that I have been the biggest part of her “village.” (She has two preschoolers. Ironically, the age between them - 19 months - is the age between my two oldest. I watch her from my aging body and wonder how I ever managed!)
What you are doing is some of the hardest and most important and most rewarding work in the world as a mom. So is the work you put out into this world. Starting with the Intuitive Plant Medicine Course for me, it has changed my life for the better. And, in birthing your Sensitive Series child, YOU are mothering ME. I still need mothering, you know!
Chris
PS holding you in the light as you deal with the aftermath and upheaval of the hurricane.
I am a mother of a now 6 yo. His dad and my partner in life died unexpectedly when he was 3, just about to turn 4. It has been a journey holding everything for us both especially the big grief of each of us. And yet as hard as it can be I agree that parenting my son solo is also something that keeps my heart open and maybe paradoxically helps me slow down and pay attention more than I ever have. I appreciate this space where we can share about all of the realities and paradoxes of parenting.
As a sensitive parent to an equally sensitive and neurodivergent child, he has been my biggest teacher and trigger. This article describes perfectly the learning and engagement I have gone through in regulating myself, caring for my body and managing my anxiety.
I’ve never done childcare with my boys, and I really feel what you mean. You do it because you have to do it! And once you stop fighting the fact there is no other option it really starts to open up such a different space within yourself and motherhood can really be a place in which to thrive. Thanks for opening up the conversation x
I relate to this so much and am happy to have found you! I just started a substack about mothering. I’m hoping to speak on the depths and intricacies of it all too
“Married men have wives to help them, married women have only themselves.”- anonymous
This is a massive part of the issue in our culture.
I’m a solo by choice parent and somehow it’s getting easier.
Whew, I felt this. This is such a massive problem in our culture, one that deeply needs to shift.
I’m curious, what do you think needs to happen for the shift to occur? How can we cultivate an atmosphere for this to occur?
Oh I’m so with you on this statement!
Are you a solo mama?
I’m not, but since having kids my husband has mostly worked away. So I’ve been solo with 70 % of the time. But also, when he is home I’m still doing the majority or childcare and helping him with so much too, it becomes easier for me when he is away.
I’m familiar with this dynamic. The married single mother with financial support it’s even easier after the divorce. Fun even.
Feeling this today. I’m in week 3 of no childcare with my toddler, I thought I would implode if I didn’t get some alone time to ground and regulate my nervous system. But I had no choice so my body just figured out how to integrate motherhood even deeper, and I’m feeling more grounded than ever. It does feel like motherhood requires these hard trials to force you to grow into yourself. Why? Lol
It’s such a depth journey. That said, I’m sincerely hoping that you’ve gotten some outer (as well as inner) reprieve after these weeks! Solo toddler parenting is no joke.
Reading that you feel less pain, more grounded, more regulated, within parenthood really cracked my brain open to a possibility I had never considered. Had only feared more anxiety, more pain, less regulation. Wow. Thank you for sharing, love your newsletters.
I think it’s like any initiation. It takes you deeper. Sometimes that can be incredibly hard…but it can also be incredibly liberating. 🤍 Thank you for being here.
Totally relate to this, particularly the sensitive nervous system, I feel like with each of my babies I’ve had to adjust and anchor myself even more to be able to hold both my own sensitive NS and theirs too. It’s been one of my biggest surprises and gifts in motherhood. And I often feel surprised when I’m stripped of the space I had planned due to childcare falling through or illness… somehow I always manage to figure it out and get what needs to be done complete. It forces me to work so much more efficiently because I know I’m on limited time. Beautiful piece Asia xxx
I feel this so much Lauren. I’m so grateful to you and all the sharing you’ve done around this aspect of the journey. It is just so deep. 🤍
Oh yes to so much here, the needing to pivot and be flexible when things change and are out of our control. And yes to the figuring things out, I would say mothering has realigned me to my inner self rather than external forces, there is such a strong feeling about certain things that I have no choice but to listen to a voice from deep within xx
I love this. A realignment to the inner self rather than external forces. I feel this deeply.
Thank you, Asia. I feel supported, known, and held in your words. May they also continue to support you. Parenting is indeed simultaneously the most rewarding and most exhausting thing imaginable.
Beautiful ♥️🌳
Asia,
I’m in your Sensitive Series class and I finally feel seen. Thank you for putting me into words.
Although not in my traditional mothering years, I can relate to this AND it’s a huge part of why I left a little spot of paradise to move closer to my kids and grandkids. I identify as a mother at the core of my being. I once tried to tell my youngest daughter that I felt that I achieved what I came here to do (raise her and her siblings to kind and caring and competent adults) and that if I left this earth unexpectedly I wanted her to know I felt fulfilled and…she shushed me and blurted out “I STILL NEED MOTHERING, YOU KNOW!!!”
This same daughter just sent me a thank you note yesterday telling me that she had no idea how hard it would be managing life with kids and told me that I have been the biggest part of her “village.” (She has two preschoolers. Ironically, the age between them - 19 months - is the age between my two oldest. I watch her from my aging body and wonder how I ever managed!)
What you are doing is some of the hardest and most important and most rewarding work in the world as a mom. So is the work you put out into this world. Starting with the Intuitive Plant Medicine Course for me, it has changed my life for the better. And, in birthing your Sensitive Series child, YOU are mothering ME. I still need mothering, you know!
Chris
PS holding you in the light as you deal with the aftermath and upheaval of the hurricane.
I am a mother of a now 6 yo. His dad and my partner in life died unexpectedly when he was 3, just about to turn 4. It has been a journey holding everything for us both especially the big grief of each of us. And yet as hard as it can be I agree that parenting my son solo is also something that keeps my heart open and maybe paradoxically helps me slow down and pay attention more than I ever have. I appreciate this space where we can share about all of the realities and paradoxes of parenting.
To slow wayyyyy down 🥹🥹✨ and play lots of play
As a sensitive parent to an equally sensitive and neurodivergent child, he has been my biggest teacher and trigger. This article describes perfectly the learning and engagement I have gone through in regulating myself, caring for my body and managing my anxiety.
I’ve never done childcare with my boys, and I really feel what you mean. You do it because you have to do it! And once you stop fighting the fact there is no other option it really starts to open up such a different space within yourself and motherhood can really be a place in which to thrive. Thanks for opening up the conversation x
I relate to this so much and am happy to have found you! I just started a substack about mothering. I’m hoping to speak on the depths and intricacies of it all too