Beautiful 💞 I felt such a deep relief in my body while receiving your words. Relief that settled INTO a knowing that my primal truth always carries... There is no wrong way to be human. I was having a conversation with a spirit baby that has been with me in and through my body a few times, and I asked what I am here for. The answer was simple. You are here to feel. This felt daunting in one sense, yet liberating in another — as it freed me from the idea that there was a right way or a wrong way...For me its the feeling way.
This narrative brought up the feels for me as well. Pregnancy was rough for me. I didn’t feel glowing or “my most feminine self” like several of my mom friends and relatives described pregnancy to me. I was wildly hormonal, achy, and sick. My birth plan had to be completely thrown out the window fairly early on due to complications that would have killed me and my babies 100 years ago.
My answer from the divine feminine was to be grateful I was born in a time with modern knowledge and technology. That a fed and healthy baby is the most important thing no matter how that comes about. That my experience would grow an empathy within me that I could share with other moms who feel like they failed.
Motherhood from conception on is the ultimate alchemy of life and it is fully transformational for both child and the mother. 💕
Thank you so much for sharing this reflection here Jacquelyn. I so know the feeling of not experiencing the glow up of pregnancy (ha). I often joke that I was decidedly NOT a pregnancy mermaid. It warms my heart so much simply to be here with other mothers in the midst. Sending so much love to you.
“And I realized, in the end, I don’t want to be remembered as someone who pushed passed her limit to make things happen no matter what.” This part and the sentences before then struck me a lot, for that has been me, too. I’ve been struggling to finish a couple of projects but it seems the willpower to have the willpower has left me. I then realised that that persona was no longer here and I can no longer be driven by something that isn’t true to me anymore.
Thank you for sharing. My own birth story of my son transcends beyond the months of pregnancy itself, including every “failure” leading up to conception and well past postpartum, to this day, almost five years later. I planned for a water birth at a small birthing center but I was also shifting through an abusive marriage and in constant survival mode without stable housing. I did “manage” a vaginal birth but across the world in a hospital. These deep spaces I experienced felt so primal that I learned to trust greatly (trust was all I had). It’s what carries me through motherhood when so many aspects look like failures. I made PEACE with what I thought my life would look like and continue to embrace what it is, that’s where my magic is. Looking forward to reading more of your words.
This was so powerful and fortifying to read Rachel. Your strength is palpable. Thank you for reaching back and sharing with us from the wisdom of your vantage point of five years down the road. Learning how to make peace with what is…I don’t think there’s any thing more challenging or liberating here in this life. With you X
I loved reading your story, it really resonated with me. I experienced two very different birth, the first one was everything I dreamed, the second, I almost died along my daughter and spent weeks in the hospital, to then go on a traumatic postpartum period. Both were beautiful experiences. How we birth them is out of our hands, no matter how much we prepare or "visualize" it, what matters is what comes next 💛
Beautiful 💞 I felt such a deep relief in my body while receiving your words. Relief that settled INTO a knowing that my primal truth always carries... There is no wrong way to be human. I was having a conversation with a spirit baby that has been with me in and through my body a few times, and I asked what I am here for. The answer was simple. You are here to feel. This felt daunting in one sense, yet liberating in another — as it freed me from the idea that there was a right way or a wrong way...For me its the feeling way.
This narrative brought up the feels for me as well. Pregnancy was rough for me. I didn’t feel glowing or “my most feminine self” like several of my mom friends and relatives described pregnancy to me. I was wildly hormonal, achy, and sick. My birth plan had to be completely thrown out the window fairly early on due to complications that would have killed me and my babies 100 years ago.
My answer from the divine feminine was to be grateful I was born in a time with modern knowledge and technology. That a fed and healthy baby is the most important thing no matter how that comes about. That my experience would grow an empathy within me that I could share with other moms who feel like they failed.
Motherhood from conception on is the ultimate alchemy of life and it is fully transformational for both child and the mother. 💕
Thank you so much for sharing this reflection here Jacquelyn. I so know the feeling of not experiencing the glow up of pregnancy (ha). I often joke that I was decidedly NOT a pregnancy mermaid. It warms my heart so much simply to be here with other mothers in the midst. Sending so much love to you.
“And I realized, in the end, I don’t want to be remembered as someone who pushed passed her limit to make things happen no matter what.” This part and the sentences before then struck me a lot, for that has been me, too. I’ve been struggling to finish a couple of projects but it seems the willpower to have the willpower has left me. I then realised that that persona was no longer here and I can no longer be driven by something that isn’t true to me anymore.
Weeping! This is so similar to my birth story and this was deeply healing to read. ❤️🩹
Thank you for sharing. My own birth story of my son transcends beyond the months of pregnancy itself, including every “failure” leading up to conception and well past postpartum, to this day, almost five years later. I planned for a water birth at a small birthing center but I was also shifting through an abusive marriage and in constant survival mode without stable housing. I did “manage” a vaginal birth but across the world in a hospital. These deep spaces I experienced felt so primal that I learned to trust greatly (trust was all I had). It’s what carries me through motherhood when so many aspects look like failures. I made PEACE with what I thought my life would look like and continue to embrace what it is, that’s where my magic is. Looking forward to reading more of your words.
This was so powerful and fortifying to read Rachel. Your strength is palpable. Thank you for reaching back and sharing with us from the wisdom of your vantage point of five years down the road. Learning how to make peace with what is…I don’t think there’s any thing more challenging or liberating here in this life. With you X
I loved reading your story, it really resonated with me. I experienced two very different birth, the first one was everything I dreamed, the second, I almost died along my daughter and spent weeks in the hospital, to then go on a traumatic postpartum period. Both were beautiful experiences. How we birth them is out of our hands, no matter how much we prepare or "visualize" it, what matters is what comes next 💛