I have come to the same conclusion almost immediately after birth, but it has been 2 years into motherhood and I am stills struggling to fully accept it or I should say, remember it.
As I get nearer and nearer the day of my and my baby's birth the responsibility of of it all really hits and I do worry about how I will manage it all later, how I will do the things that make me "me", how will my husband and I maintain our time together. Such a deep portal. It's so hard not to have expectations for things to be the same as before or to surrender to the fact that the "after" is perfect as it is.
It is such a huge transformation and it takes a while to let it all integrate. You will do amazing! Congratulations on entering the new and wonderful stage of life
For me, it comes in waves. Sometimes I'm floating and I know everything is exactly as it should be. But then the wave comes in again, and I have to remind myself that my only job is to hold on. That even though all I see now is a wall of water, I'll glimpse the horizon again on the other side.
I have so much gratitude for these words, this perspective. They have inspired me to hide away in one of my old secret hiding spots in my grandparents’ house, to allow a little inspiration to flow from a stream I thought had run dry. Because traveling overseas with my girls (2, 7, and 9) - and perhaps the last 9 years spent raising them - has not only toppled the structure of my routine. It has at times felt that the very core of what I now (perhaps for the first time) understand as holy - my very self - has been parched, looted, destroyed, disempowered. I am needed every moment of every hour of every day - I am their home, their abode. And most days it simply feels like there is not enough of me to go around. Thankfully, your book has guided me back to the healing that is always available to me. I remembered while washing dishes today that Earth - the Mother - always brings her rains, the seasons turn, the mushrooms grow, flowers bloom again in all their glory. They have always been there and if I can get a good, quiet hiding spot I can feel them beneath the surface, beginning their journey back home.
This is so beautiful Ana. Thank you for sharing. And honestly, I've never been more stressed than trying to travel with my little one. So the fact that you're still standing after traveling overseas with three... sounds like a holy miracle. Which is to say that I think *you* are a holy miracle.
Amen!! Thank you. One of my deepest fears about the possibility of becoming a mother is how to be well, whole, and holy without my practices. I know it would be destabilizing and challenging to go without them. But this piece reminds me that I don't need them to be my deepest self. I am here. Regardless.
YES orienting is precisely what I felt too, a reminder of my wholeness compass, leading me home into the infinity of my heart. Even when all that I know of me is shapeshifting rapidly.
love the conclusion you came to- that motherhood is holy in itself. I like to think about the way ancient women felt- pregnancy and motherhood was just the natural progression and seamless transition into womanhood. Whereas us modern day women feel a sense of loss sometimes when moving into this new role. I think it’s because our culture teaches us to pursue our own selfish interests first before motherhood, if at all. Our culture doesn’t teach us how to mother- the most important job on earth and what our creator made us to do. Hence that is why so many women feel a sense of loss of their independence, but remembering our own sovereignty and divinity is the way through that.
can SO relate to this! beautifully written ~ my substack has become my weekly "pillar", so to speak, a weekly gift to myself to write, be inspired, remember the holy. i love this, thank you for sharing ❤
Thank you Asia for these beautiful words. 20 months on I’m still struggling to adjust to this new life as a mother. Thank you for the reminder that I am whole.
I also resonate with your own personal pregnancy story- I have Lyme disease, am pregnant, and my birthing season is winter. I am so sorry you had to go through illness while bringing life into this world- but what I’ve learned from my own suffering, is that we humans are resilient and God is always with us even in the darkest times.
I have come to the same conclusion almost immediately after birth, but it has been 2 years into motherhood and I am stills struggling to fully accept it or I should say, remember it.
As I get nearer and nearer the day of my and my baby's birth the responsibility of of it all really hits and I do worry about how I will manage it all later, how I will do the things that make me "me", how will my husband and I maintain our time together. Such a deep portal. It's so hard not to have expectations for things to be the same as before or to surrender to the fact that the "after" is perfect as it is.
It is such a huge transformation and it takes a while to let it all integrate. You will do amazing! Congratulations on entering the new and wonderful stage of life
Thank you so much <3
For me, it comes in waves. Sometimes I'm floating and I know everything is exactly as it should be. But then the wave comes in again, and I have to remind myself that my only job is to hold on. That even though all I see now is a wall of water, I'll glimpse the horizon again on the other side.
I have so much gratitude for these words, this perspective. They have inspired me to hide away in one of my old secret hiding spots in my grandparents’ house, to allow a little inspiration to flow from a stream I thought had run dry. Because traveling overseas with my girls (2, 7, and 9) - and perhaps the last 9 years spent raising them - has not only toppled the structure of my routine. It has at times felt that the very core of what I now (perhaps for the first time) understand as holy - my very self - has been parched, looted, destroyed, disempowered. I am needed every moment of every hour of every day - I am their home, their abode. And most days it simply feels like there is not enough of me to go around. Thankfully, your book has guided me back to the healing that is always available to me. I remembered while washing dishes today that Earth - the Mother - always brings her rains, the seasons turn, the mushrooms grow, flowers bloom again in all their glory. They have always been there and if I can get a good, quiet hiding spot I can feel them beneath the surface, beginning their journey back home.
This is so beautiful Ana. Thank you for sharing. And honestly, I've never been more stressed than trying to travel with my little one. So the fact that you're still standing after traveling overseas with three... sounds like a holy miracle. Which is to say that I think *you* are a holy miracle.
Wow the way you write, such a powerful transmission <3
Amen!! Thank you. One of my deepest fears about the possibility of becoming a mother is how to be well, whole, and holy without my practices. I know it would be destabilizing and challenging to go without them. But this piece reminds me that I don't need them to be my deepest self. I am here. Regardless.
Oh so much L🩵VE for this piece! I feel this deeply. Thank you for sharing such sacred truth and orienting me back today!
YES orienting is precisely what I felt too, a reminder of my wholeness compass, leading me home into the infinity of my heart. Even when all that I know of me is shapeshifting rapidly.
love the conclusion you came to- that motherhood is holy in itself. I like to think about the way ancient women felt- pregnancy and motherhood was just the natural progression and seamless transition into womanhood. Whereas us modern day women feel a sense of loss sometimes when moving into this new role. I think it’s because our culture teaches us to pursue our own selfish interests first before motherhood, if at all. Our culture doesn’t teach us how to mother- the most important job on earth and what our creator made us to do. Hence that is why so many women feel a sense of loss of their independence, but remembering our own sovereignty and divinity is the way through that.
can SO relate to this! beautifully written ~ my substack has become my weekly "pillar", so to speak, a weekly gift to myself to write, be inspired, remember the holy. i love this, thank you for sharing ❤
Thank you Asia for these beautiful words. 20 months on I’m still struggling to adjust to this new life as a mother. Thank you for the reminder that I am whole.
I also resonate with your own personal pregnancy story- I have Lyme disease, am pregnant, and my birthing season is winter. I am so sorry you had to go through illness while bringing life into this world- but what I’ve learned from my own suffering, is that we humans are resilient and God is always with us even in the darkest times.
thank you Asia.
Beautiful, and timely for me, thank you 🙏
So exquisitely poignant and true. I wish I had access to your wisdom when I was a young mother. Thank you for this beautiful message.
So beautiful and true it brings tears to my eyes. Thank you.
Beautiful. Thank you ❤️