Reading this I started to reflect on how in my experience woman’s rage tends to be directed at self. The amount of woman I know who have self harmed in comparison to the men I know who punch walls. I don’t know actual statistics of this, it’s just my experience. But I feel like we are told to suppress our rage that it often ends up bursting at the seams and for a lot of woman because we couldn’t bear to leave the mess of glass in the car park it goes inward.
So glad you found a place to express yourself in this outward way.
I had (and still have) so much shame around my rage when I first started experiencing it after becoming a mother. I felt like some alien had taken over my body and I had no idea who this version of me was. I had never felt or experienced such hot, raw emotions before and they scared me. They felt so ‘wrong’.
But now my daughter is growing into a young girl and I am finding my way in the parent I want to be, I am not practicing what I preach. I say it’s ok for her to feel frustrated or angry but it’s not ok to hit or throw things. Yet I find myself berating my own emotions, slamming objects down in rage and hitting walls (never around my daughter may I add).
I love the unmaking analogy of all this; it’s like a pendulum swinging in the opposite direction and a healthy balance needs to be struck. But this could only be found with the extremes of the swing and the depths of my emotion.
Thank you for this beautiful reflection, as always 🤍
This is brilliant. Motherhood is a strange dance that entwines exquisite tenderness with insuppressible rage. And in a culture that hasn't historically made space to normalize this rage, it's downright life-affirming to read other women's accounts of it. Thank you for sharing. As Amanda Montei says, "Motherhood radicalized me." And what a powerful behavior model for our children.
f*k yea mama!! I SO RELATE TO THIS. hope one of these opens up near me, soon. sounds SO satisfying. it's like, we are not just raging for ourselves but for our moms and grandmas and great grandmas... good for you sister. 🙌🏽
Reading this I started to reflect on how in my experience woman’s rage tends to be directed at self. The amount of woman I know who have self harmed in comparison to the men I know who punch walls. I don’t know actual statistics of this, it’s just my experience. But I feel like we are told to suppress our rage that it often ends up bursting at the seams and for a lot of woman because we couldn’t bear to leave the mess of glass in the car park it goes inward.
So glad you found a place to express yourself in this outward way.
Love that song! As always your words sing to me. I didn’t truly know rage until I became a Mother.
I had (and still have) so much shame around my rage when I first started experiencing it after becoming a mother. I felt like some alien had taken over my body and I had no idea who this version of me was. I had never felt or experienced such hot, raw emotions before and they scared me. They felt so ‘wrong’.
But now my daughter is growing into a young girl and I am finding my way in the parent I want to be, I am not practicing what I preach. I say it’s ok for her to feel frustrated or angry but it’s not ok to hit or throw things. Yet I find myself berating my own emotions, slamming objects down in rage and hitting walls (never around my daughter may I add).
I love the unmaking analogy of all this; it’s like a pendulum swinging in the opposite direction and a healthy balance needs to be struck. But this could only be found with the extremes of the swing and the depths of my emotion.
Thank you for this beautiful reflection, as always 🤍
This is brilliant. Motherhood is a strange dance that entwines exquisite tenderness with insuppressible rage. And in a culture that hasn't historically made space to normalize this rage, it's downright life-affirming to read other women's accounts of it. Thank you for sharing. As Amanda Montei says, "Motherhood radicalized me." And what a powerful behavior model for our children.
*Googles rage rooms in the Los Angeles area...
f*k yea mama!! I SO RELATE TO THIS. hope one of these opens up near me, soon. sounds SO satisfying. it's like, we are not just raging for ourselves but for our moms and grandmas and great grandmas... good for you sister. 🙌🏽
❤️ Brilliant. I also dreamt of rage rooms in every neighbourhood. A place to shout scream and shred.
Delighted to hear they have been manifested and love your thoughts and musings on rage.
Thank you x