29 Comments
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Lola York's avatar

Oh my word. This is just one of the, if not THE most resonant expression about the motherhood initiation I have ever read. I cannot tell you how very much this touched my heart. Thank you thank you thank you for your beautiful words and luminous heart.

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Asia Suler's avatar

Thank *you* Lola. This comment was a beam of light in my life today. I'm so honored you are here.

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Lily's avatar

Reading this while feeding my 12 week old daughter. Yes, I'm crying. Beautiful words reflecting a lot of what I'm feeling and haven't quite found my own words for yet. Thank you.

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Asia Suler's avatar

Mmmm sending you so much love today, mama. It's so big what you are doing. Just so big.

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Sioux's avatar

Retired and looking for work again. For months!! Depression has set in deeply as I worry about money. I worry about losing my little home. I wonder where I'll end up. I am scared, which causes disrupted sleep. I've not been able to break out of this depth and feel hopeless.

Finally. Your words give me hope.

Thank you.

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Asia Suler's avatar

❤️❤️❤️

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Autumn Fox's avatar

“Life will break you.

But if you stay with the pieces, unbearable sweetness will meet you on the other side.”

What wisdom to live by. I have been thinking a lot about my freshly 3 year old daughter, literally praying in the night as I hold her that she will be kept safe. Trying to bargain with the universe to spare her. Thank you for sharing this beautiful sentiment and your own fear of suffering. I want to take your words and hang them on a post it at my desk so I never forget them.

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Asia Suler's avatar

I am with in that nightly prayer Autumn. May we be heard in all the ways we can be heard, and held in all the rest. With you.

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Lyndsay Kaldor's avatar

Thank you Asia, this is so beautiful and true. You describe that time of early postpartum so piercingly, just as it feels. We are so wide open. Thank you also for your expression of suffering as the intensity of the human condition, it now makes a lot more sense as a word and concept to me too. And yes the pain of anticipating or experiencing your child’s pain is (almost) too much to bear, sending love xx

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Asia Suler's avatar

❤️ Thank you for all you share and illuminate in this world Lyndsay. So honored to be in connection with you here

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Lyndsay Kaldor's avatar

Likewise dear Asia xx

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Kaylee's avatar

You write the words that have been in my heart since I had my daughter almost 5 years ago. The way you talk about your daughter reminds me of mine and to hear your words and compassion towards yourself is a soothing, precious balm. Thank you for putting your words into the world. It is truly a priceless gift.

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Asia Suler's avatar

❤️ Thank you for being here Kaylee. It warms my heart to know, we are never walking this path alone.

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Barbara Sinclair's avatar

You are something else, my friend. Such a wise old soul, you are, Asia. This is achingly beautiful and oh so true. 🥚XO

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Asia Suler's avatar

Love you, friend ❤️

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Barbara Sinclair's avatar

Love you back, Asia! 🧚🥰

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Hannah's avatar

So absolutely gorgeous, and so lovely to receive a piece of what has been such a guide in my life back through your words! I was six months pregnant with my second, and fell 16 feet from a ladder – forward, onto my belly. Thank God, my arm broke my fall. The baby was OK, my wrist was not.

This was a deep initiation into pain: pregnant, with a broken wrist, and a toddler at home who seemed to aim for the break each time he came around all day every day. I embraced it as a teaching and a preparation for birth, and it was through this that I found something so profound – if I embraced and entered into the pain, it had the capacity to transform in its nature and presentation. If I fought it, it persisted and grew and took over.

I'm preparing to support a dear friend in her upcoming birth and worked to articulate it when she asked specifically about her fear of the pain she would endure. So looking forward to sending her this gorgeous piece of writing when the time is right ✨️

Thank you, as always

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Asia Suler's avatar

Oh mama, I am feeling you and this powerfully hard initiation you went through. What a strong soul, to endure this. And what a strong soul, to come out the other side with this knowing. I am honoring you. And I'm so grateful for your share here. Your friend is powerfully lucky to have you by her side in her own upcoming initiation. ❤️ Sending love to you both

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C. Rose's avatar

Deep, profound truths here in your words. I have felt some of this, too, as a mother to two. Thank you for sharing 🌸💞

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Amy Borskey Duffer's avatar

So deeply felt and appreciated, my friend. Thank you.

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Asia Suler's avatar

Love you, my friend ❤️❤️❤️

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Catherine Andrews's avatar

Thank you for this. I hope anybody reading this suffering from chronic pain will find Nicole Sachs' work. She has an expressive journaling technique that helps so deeply. Her podcast is the Cure for Chronic Pain and she has a new book out, Mind Your Body. Thank you as always for your gorgeous words and truth, Asia!

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Asia Suler's avatar

Thank you for sharing Catherine!

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the herbal practice's avatar

Oh my gosh this is hitting home powerfully. First I can completely relate to the post-partum OCD which I'm well versed with though strangely I had it pre-partum or in fact pre-pregnancy. I had been hoping to start a family for years waiting for my partner to be "ready" and my symptoms started exactly the day where he announced yes let's do this. I had no idea what was happening until I finally had to consult a professional who diagnosed and that in itself was an intense relief, to know what was happening, have a frame of work and know that there were ways to address it. My daughter is 12 now and recently dealing with some anxiety of her own about becoming aware of pain and danger in the world and your words today are so in line with where we are at. Sending much love and gratitude.

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Asia Suler's avatar

Thank you for sharing this powerful arc with us. OCD is such a potent initiator unto itself, I am always in awe of meeting others who experience it, for they are *always* such astoundingly smart, sensitive, attuned, creative and powerful people. Truly. I'm reflecting all that back to you today... and I'm so grateful to have connected with you here.

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the herbal practice's avatar

Bless, thank you for your ever sensitive and kind sharings and all the beauty you ooze. 🙏🏻 Much, much love 🩷🌸

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Bethany Celeste's avatar

This is so beautifully written and truly very touching to read. Thank you so much for sharing your light ❤️

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Jo Thomas 🌿's avatar

I loved this Asia, and it's really speaking to me about how to be with my own pain which for me in life right now is anxious attachment, anxiety and panic of feeling alone, while i manage a breakup that i don't actually want. the necessity of feeling pain in life is so true, and i'm very aware recently of how i avoid feeling my pain. thankyou for your words!

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Lauren Barber's avatar

Beautiful words as always Asia, thank you for sharing this and I find the chronic pain words particularly interesting. My littlest was also a colicy baby and it was only when I just accepted the crying and grounded myself enough to hold it, and stopped trying to find every tactic to prevent it that it would ease. Xx

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