It takes me back to the days when my three were young, and I was a young mother in Bangalore, India. I remember one day in particular. I was 24 and the mother of two littles. My daughter had just turned two and my son was a few months old.
He had a little bouncer that I would put him in so I could get a bit of editing work done. It was the only place other than my arms that he would be content.
Then the bouncer broke. My chubby little baby was too heavy for it.
And he was not happy ANYWHERE but in my arms. I couldn't get anything done and felt frustrated and tired.
But then the thought filtered through my mind that I would not have this moment forever and that I should treasure it.
That "chubby baby" is heading to college in a few months. (And of course, he's chosen a school over a thousand miles away.) His big sister has already been away at college (2,000 miles) for two years now.
I'm only going to have one teenager left at home.
Those days when they were young, that felt like they'd last forever (especially when all I wanted was a nap!), have drifted away from me like dandelion seeds. They root only in my memory and in my photo feed.
But they are treasures, and more so my children, who will always be my little ones (even though my boys are both taller than me now!)
Oh, this comes to my inbox at the end of one of those particularly long and hard parenting days, and these words feel like just the healing balm or (cool glass of water) I needed. Thank you ♥️
Thank you for your words--this is a beautiful way to reframe these moments as a new mother. Thank you for somehow (!?!) :-) making time as a new mother to shares these wisdoms that feel so true, but unnamed in my days. Your emails and words always hit a tender spot that needs some love, and I am grateful.
Thank you Hannah! To be honest with you, most weeks I'm sure it's not gonna happen (making it here to the page). But then I remember that writing is one of those choices I *do* have that always helps me remember life's possibilities. So here I am. Thank you for seeing me, and for being here in these unnamable days.
Whoaaaa this is real life. All the times I’ve allowed my “lack of choice” in exhausted parenting transpire into anger and frustration directed towards those who deserve it the least… so I drink a cup of tea. And also, it does get easier.
How do you feel about community while mothering? I’ve been personally struggling with not having a team of other mothers showing up throughout the day, or feeling comfortable dropping in on them. It’s become such an independently lonely endeavor it seems but I’m trying hard to see my way out of that mindset too.
Very glad to hear it gets easier. That's a palm stone I will keep in my pocket. And absolutelyyy, I wish every dang day I lived in a community of women where we could all just co-parent together! Becoming a parent really highlights just how dysfunctional our current societal structures are...
Lovely post, thank you, Asia.
It takes me back to the days when my three were young, and I was a young mother in Bangalore, India. I remember one day in particular. I was 24 and the mother of two littles. My daughter had just turned two and my son was a few months old.
He had a little bouncer that I would put him in so I could get a bit of editing work done. It was the only place other than my arms that he would be content.
Then the bouncer broke. My chubby little baby was too heavy for it.
And he was not happy ANYWHERE but in my arms. I couldn't get anything done and felt frustrated and tired.
But then the thought filtered through my mind that I would not have this moment forever and that I should treasure it.
That "chubby baby" is heading to college in a few months. (And of course, he's chosen a school over a thousand miles away.) His big sister has already been away at college (2,000 miles) for two years now.
I'm only going to have one teenager left at home.
Those days when they were young, that felt like they'd last forever (especially when all I wanted was a nap!), have drifted away from me like dandelion seeds. They root only in my memory and in my photo feed.
But they are treasures, and more so my children, who will always be my little ones (even though my boys are both taller than me now!)
A broken bouncer! I can feel the panic rising from here, ha! But truly, thank you for this share from "the other side"...it is deeply meaningful.
Oh, this comes to my inbox at the end of one of those particularly long and hard parenting days, and these words feel like just the healing balm or (cool glass of water) I needed. Thank you ♥️
It’s amazing that a read can shift our feelings
Thank you for this Asia, it feels really powerful to remember the choices we have xx
True❤️
Thank you for your words--this is a beautiful way to reframe these moments as a new mother. Thank you for somehow (!?!) :-) making time as a new mother to shares these wisdoms that feel so true, but unnamed in my days. Your emails and words always hit a tender spot that needs some love, and I am grateful.
Thank you Hannah! To be honest with you, most weeks I'm sure it's not gonna happen (making it here to the page). But then I remember that writing is one of those choices I *do* have that always helps me remember life's possibilities. So here I am. Thank you for seeing me, and for being here in these unnamable days.
Whoaaaa this is real life. All the times I’ve allowed my “lack of choice” in exhausted parenting transpire into anger and frustration directed towards those who deserve it the least… so I drink a cup of tea. And also, it does get easier.
How do you feel about community while mothering? I’ve been personally struggling with not having a team of other mothers showing up throughout the day, or feeling comfortable dropping in on them. It’s become such an independently lonely endeavor it seems but I’m trying hard to see my way out of that mindset too.
Very glad to hear it gets easier. That's a palm stone I will keep in my pocket. And absolutelyyy, I wish every dang day I lived in a community of women where we could all just co-parent together! Becoming a parent really highlights just how dysfunctional our current societal structures are...
Mm mm MMM. This is gorgeous. This is why I love the art of writing, and why I believe in storytelling so deeply in my bones. Thank you for this ♥️
Oh wowww this was so beautifully written and perfectly timely with where I am right now, thank you
To accept that there are no choices left—and step into an endless field of possibility❤️